One Powerful Song
by Grace475
Summary: Jack had lost so many things in the last year. He went to the one thing thing that he knew would help him out in time of need... Music
1. desperate

One powerful song

This is one of my first stories that I have posted, but my others were 2 or 3 years ago, there is a lot more Occness in this by Optimus and jack but you know I can do whatever. Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters, any and all credit goes to Hasbro and Avril Lavigne. Sorry about any grammar or spelling mistakes, let me know about any critics or criticism, I will any and all advice about plot and contexts. Song: Head Above Water – Avril Lavigne.

Music had always been something that made him calm and relaxed when nothing else could. When he was angry or sad he would blast his headphones and sing until he couldn't talk anymore, Singing had been an escape from the reality that he lived: Abusive father to the point he's had to go to the hospital where his mother worked to get stitches and multiple casts. At night he couldn't sleep without music playing in his ears all night long, at school when the bullies came and beat him up in the locker room or the cafeteria or behind the school he would be found with a beaten body and broken set of headphones and he would be sad, not because he was hit, no, because he would have to endure the silence back home or base.

Today was different though, he had decided to take his homework and work at base while he waited for the day to be over so he could go home to an empty, silent, lonely house filled with horrible memories from his childhood, but today he decided he would sing while he studied, he went to one of the empty rooms deep in the Autoboot base so that no one could hear him singing.

 _ **I've gotta keep the calm before the storm**_

 _ **I don't want less, I don't want more**_

 _ **Must bar the windows and the doors**_

 _ **To keep me safe, to keep me warm.**_

 _ **Yeah, my life is what I'm fighting for**_

 _ **Can't part the sea, can't reach the shore**_

 _ **And my voice becomes the driving force**_

 _ **I won't let this pull me overboard**_

Unknown to him there was one Autobot that had excellent hearing. Jack Darby had been a stable and strong looking human, but Optimus could see right through his façade, because after all, that was precisely what he did around everyone, he would act like he was calm, cool and collected but in his spark he knew that he wouldn't be able to beat Megatron, not because he was not strong enough, but because he still believes that Megatron could return to the brother he once knew, but alas not everything you wish for is right.

 _ **God, keep my head above water**_

 _ **Don't let me drown**_

 _ **It gets harder, I'll meet you there at the altar**_

 _ **As I fall down to my knees**_

 _ **Don't let me drown, drown, drown**_

 _ **(Don't let me, don't let me, don't let me drown)**_

 _ **So pull me up from down below**_

 _ **Because I'm underneath the undertow**_

 _ **Come dry me off and hold me close**_

 _ **I need you now, I need you most**_

Soon Jack became so consumed in the world of Music, he wasn't aware that he was singing with more passion that he'd ever sung with, the sheer intensity that he put into the song made Optimus wonder what the song was about, the boy had tears in his eyes and a shaky voice, but he still sung with the same passion and sadness in his voice.

 _ **God, keep my head above water**_

 _ **Don't let me drown**_

 _ **It gets harder, I'll meet you there at the altar**_

 _ **As I fall down to my knees**_

 _ **Don't let me drown, drown, drown**_

 _ **(Don't let me, don't let me, don't let me drown)**_

 _ **Don't let me drown, drown, drown**_

 _ **(Don't let me, don't let me, don't let me drown)**_

 _ **And keep my head above water, above water**_

 _ **And I can't see In the stormy weather**_

 _ **I can't seem to keep It all together**_

 _ **And I, I can't swim the ocean like this forever**_

 _ **And I can't breathe.**_

 _ **God, keep my head above water**_

 _ **I lose my breath at the bottom**_

 _ **Come rescue me, I'll be waiting**_

 _ **I'm too young to fall asleep**_

 _ **God, keep my head above water**_

 _ **Don't let me drown**_

 _ **It gets harder, I'll meet you there at the altar**_

 _ **As I fall down to my knees**_

 _ **Don't let me drown**_

 _ **And Keep my head above water, above water**_

As the song ended, Jack then fell to his knees and started to sob uncontrollably with no care in the world if anyone heard him. The singing stopped and sobbing began, Optimus became worried for the boy, so the Prime started to walk to the room, and what he saw made his spark sink, Jack had huddled into the corner of the giant room clutching his head, immediately the Prime turned on his holoform and ran to the boy taking him into his arms in the form of comfort but noticing that the boy had several marks on his wrist.

"Why?" the shaky voice of Jack said looking up at the holoform with tears dripping down his face, it was a simple question that made the holoform stop and gazes into the teary eyes of the boy, the Prime could see the desperation for an answer but one that he couldn't answer for he had the same question: why him, why this war, why all this death, why this world, why these beings. He had prayed and cried to Primus to end the war for so long he's cried for his Planet, his family, friends, comrades, and the enviable death of the humans.

Optimus didn't answer the boy instead just held the boy while he released all the stress and emotion that he had built up into the tiny body, as the human cried and shook violently, Optimus soothed the child by rubbing his back and letting him cry into the holoform's strong shoulder. Once Jack had finally calmed down from sobs to shaky breaths of air, all the while Optimus just waited until Jack was ready to move out of the comforting arms around him securely keeping him in place, the boy gradually fell asleep on the holoform's burly shoulder as he became weightless, the Autobot leader stayed in the same position for an extended period of time to make sure he was asleep to not wake the sleeping teen, slowly lifted him in his arms bridal style and walked to the central part of the base, placing the unconscious body onto the human couch he then put a blanket onto the boy allowing him to rest and recuperate all the energy he had wasted.


	2. Century Long Depression

One Powerful Song Ch2

Author's note: trigger warning, will talk about depression, suicide and self-harm. So, in this universe, once June was captured by arachnid, she actually took June to the warship and drove June insane and experimented on her, putting a chip into her head so she could be controlled but would still be conscious just not able to control her own body, won't go into flashbacks because I'm horrible at them, but will give small insight to those past events. Disclaimer: I do not own anything; all credit goes to Hasbro and all the writers that inspired me to finally write.

Previously

Optimus didn't answer the boy instead just held the boy while he released all the stress and emotion that he had built up into the tiny body, as the human cried and shook violently, Optimus soothed the child by rubbing his back and letting him cry into the holoform's strong shoulder. Once Jack had finally calmed down from sobs to shaky breaths of air, all the while Optimus just waited until Jack was ready to move out of the comforting arms around him securely keeping him in place, the boy gradually fell asleep on the holoform's burly shoulder as he became weightless, the Autobot leader stayed in the same position for an extended period of time to make sure he was asleep to not wake the sleeping teen, slowly lifted him in his arms bridal style and walked to the central part of the base, placing the unconscious body onto the human couch he then put a blanket onto the boy allowing him to rest and recuperate all the energy he had wasted.

Now

After Optimus had set the child on the couch to sleep, the mech in question leaned against the rocky walls and pondered how he and his people got to this planet, while he thought one question kept ringing through his audial and processor, haunting his every decision: Why? why had Primus let this war go this far, destroying life as they knew it? why had he chosen him to save his planet and people, why did he choose this planet to go to? all these burning questions that he wanted answered, yet he knew that they would be answered at some time.

Looking up to watch Jack sleep, the mech couldn't help but feel the urge to prey for the poor human, so deciding he had nothing better to do, he knelt on his knee struts, bowed his head, closed his optics and started to pray in his native language:

'My God I prey, please give me clarity

to guide my people through this

impossible time. Please guide this

child through his sufferings, cure

him of his hauntings and give him

peace. Release his heart of the

sickness that plagues his thoughts

and free his from the demons that

haunt him. In Primus name...

Please help this Sparkling, Amen'

Finishing his prayer to Primus, he onlined his optics and wiped a streak of fluid of his faceplate then stood back on his peds then went to go check on Jack, noticing that he hadn't stirred from his placement on the coach, the mech decided to go and do some work while he waited for Jack to wake up. After about an hour of data collection and battle reports, Jack finally woke up from his dream state "Ugghh what the hell? Why does it hurt so much?" the child asked holding his head while rubbing his temple "Jackson, I would appreciate if you would not use that kind of language around me" the giant mech said making the human violently flinch in surprise "Oh... it's just you, Optimus you scared the crap out of me "he said putting his hand by his heart and released a breath of air.

After a few minute Optimus went over to the child that was just casually sitting on the sofa playing on his phone "you heard me singing, didn't you?" Jack asked the Prime, surprising the mech that he knew what he was going to ask, slowly he nodded his helm making sure that the boy saw his concern in his optics "shit" Jack said bowing his head while putting it in his hands to cover his eye and burning cheeks.

Although Prime didn't like profanity, he understood the boy's frustrations, he showed emotions that were meant to be private and kept to himself, wanting to comfort the boy, Prime projected a holoform onto the platform and went to collect the shivering child into his arms " I know what kind of pain you are going through, I am in the same position that you are in" he said whispering into Jack's ear while holding him, letting him know that he cared about him "What do you know about keep emotions in? You're like a stone wall, never letting anything break in and show anything you actually feel" he said venomously making me chuckle dryly "as much as you feel I am a strong leader that doesn't let their feeling show, I am never truly allowed to be myself and show what I actually feel, the Autobots count on me every second of everyday, showing my emotions would be showing an enemy my true fears and if I did that... the Autobots would be no more" he paused as he thought of his next word, letting out an intake he didn't realize he had been holding.

"I am the last standing leader of Cybertron, I am the last chosen one of Primus, chosen to lead my people through a crisis that could end our very existence, just because I was chosen automatically mean that I have all the answers to all problems that present themselves while nobody ever thinks to ask me how I feel personally about anything, as a Prime, I do not have fear or doubt or the capability to mess up or miscalculate because I was made perfect and that is how I should remain..." he spat with bitterness and venom, letting out another intake and started once again "but as a bot, as a Cybertronian, as a civilian at spark... I am afraid, and scared and doubtful, because much of people's belief I have no idea what I'm supposed to do, as an archivist I have no tactical skills of any kind, the deadliest thing I could do to someone is through a datapad at someone and hope for the best, how am I supposed to complete my task of destroying a bot that was once my lover? How could I kill a mech that I fell in love and had a child with? What could Primus do with a useless mech like me" he breathed again with a shaky voice and trembling servos.

Seeing the strong leader show more emotions in this moment then he has seen in the last 5 years that they have known the Autobots, made the boy realize that Optimus had feeling just like he did: sadness, anger, irritation, happiness, even confusion and curiosity. "too much expectation from your people just break down the stone wall that you've built up and it shows what you actually feel" the boy said tightly hugging the burly man snuggling deeper into his shoulder "child you have no idea what toll the weight takes on a person in all kinds of forms: mentally, emotionally even pyhsically and sexually" the mech said sighing deeply making the human blush at the blunt explanation of the stress that's been shoved onto his shoulders " Century long depression? Not gonna lie about having that for most of my life too" the human said making the mech stare at him.


	3. Comfort and Horror

One Powerful Song Ch3

Author's note: trigger warning, will talk about depression, suicide and self-harm. So, in this universe, once June was captured by arachnid, she actually took June to the warship and drove June insane and experimented on her, putting a chip into her head so she could be controlled but would still be conscious just not able to control her own body, won't go into flashbacks because I'm horrible at them, but will give small insight to those past events.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything; all credit goes to Hasbro and all the writers that inspired me to finally write.

Decided it's gonna be a lot more difficult then I originally thought but still totally feel free to ask or advice anything. By the way the time line s that this is still in time with the event of the tv show and this takes place sometime after mech and arachnid take June and ends up taking her to megatron , haven't worked that out yet Sorry.

Previously

Seeing the strong leader show more emotions in this moment then he has seen in the last 5 years that they have known the Autobots, made the boy realize that Optimus had feeling just like he did: sadness, anger, irritation, happiness, even confusion and curiosity. "too much expectation from your people just break down the stone wall that you've built up and it shows what you actually feel" the boy said tightly hugging the burly man snuggling deeper into his shoulder

"child you have no idea what toll the weight takes on a person in all kinds of forms: mentally, emotionally even physically and sexually" the mech said sighing deeply making the human blush at the blunt explanation of the stress that's been shoved onto his shoulders " Century long depression? Not gonna lie about having that for most of my life too" the human said making the mech stare at him.

Now

"On my planet we don't call it 'depression', we call it malware, but yes I do have this 'depression' and several cases of what you could call 'anxiety' and 'mental disorders' that I have struggled with beginning when I made my first kill" he said sighing " I still remember his name: Portal Ray, we worked together in the hall of records he was my desk mate. I still remember the way that I had killed him: I stabbed him through the neck just before the Decepticons retreated to their base and let him bleed out painfully slowly……… his screams still haunt my nightmares." the mech said now making his voice hard and commanding.

"I replay that moment in my life every day because that's when I let my anger control me and I….I killed him out of anger and rage then let him bled to death and watch his optics turn off for the last time. I lost control of myself and it ended a mechs life, although he was a Decepticon, it doesn't excuse the way that I didn't give him mercy and a quick death" the giant man said making the child think about what he would've felt if he lost control of himself and hurt someone, even if it was that bastard Vince he could never forgive himself since he did it out if anger.

"I…I was diagnosed with depression at age 7…. The doctor said it was because of an abusive relationship somewhere in my life and I knew exactly who caused it: My own father would beat me whenever he came home drunk which was always. Mom would try to guard me from his blows but we would both end up getting hit and he would 'punish' her in private, in the morning she wouldn't be able to get out of bed and she'd have to call in sick which meant staying home with me while we slowly healed and got ready for the next beating that we received" Jack spat with venom and trembling from both rage and the memories of the horrible person that was his father, on another level Optimus also related to the boy more then he knew or even would know " you were abused as a sparkling weren't you?" the mech asked like it was the most normal things he's ever asked , he could feel the small nod of the child's head and he breathed deeply.

" I could tell by the way that you spoke about your experience and the venom that coated your words, it shows resentment and hatred towards someone that you believed to be a protector but ended up hurting you in a way that you could never imagine or forgive them for, I know what that's like: to be harmed by a close person that is supposed to protect you but all that happens is beatings and your blamed for it" Optimus breathed with a shaky voice tightening his hold on the child.

"You were abused too I'm guessing?" jack asked pulling away from the mech to investigate his optics to try and see the truth that showed the shame of how he felt: helpless, shamed, defenseless and lost. No sight of the strong mech that everyone looked to when in trouble…. No in his place was a frightened and damaged mech that was hurt beyond anything he's ever seen, it was like the Prime that they all knew and loved had been replaced with another mech entirely

The mech in question just sighed and spaced out into the distance like he was remembering a fond memory before his faceplate screwed into an angry scowl and suddenly gave a deeply frightening and primal growl that sent shivers down jack's spine.

Never in the years that he knew the mech had he seen the type of emotion that he saw today: anger, sadness, guilt, happiness and it unsettled the child as he looked at the person that he looked up to for so many years and look to him for everything as a child would to his father. Jack let go of the alien and let him relax and just let him be a person: not a leader of a race that is counting on him but just a normal person that isn't perfect and doesn't have all the answers. "you... you can't tell the others about this Jackson…. They must not know my... my weakness" Optimus whispered just barely registerable, the child smirked at the Prime "as long as you don't say anything, I won't say anything" he told him with a cocky grin making the mech smirk "deal" the giant alien exclaimed putting his hand out and shaking jack's hand in agreement."

Hey…Optimus?" the boy questioned again making said alien turned holoform to look at him "yes jack?" "thanks for showing me the real you" he said giving the burly man in front of him a tight hug.


End file.
